If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket and they classed it an ‘uncharacteristic purchase’
I want to reach Link levels of androgyny. Am I a boy? Am I a girl? Am I something else? Who knows, but there’s 90% chance I’m carrying a sword and doing magic with music in the woods
so i fell asleep at my desk for a few seconds and woke up abruptly to the thought “WHO CARES!? THESE ARE ASSLESS CHAPS!!!” burning through my mind
i dont understand
It’s ok, I woke up two weeks ago to slapping my knuckles over my desk, and swore loudly. Only problem was that I suddenly had a thick Brooklyn accent, and thought I was a 1940s mobster for 30 seconds upon waking.
I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS?
I did the same thing once, where when I woke up I seriously thought I was Superman for at least a good minute or so. I was reaching for my phone thinking, “Oh my God, I’ve been hiding it this whole time, I’ve gotta tell my boyfriend I’m superman.” And as I was very tiredly and sloppily writing the text I stopped what I was doing and was like, “What the fuck.”
Yes. More. I need more stories.
one morning i woke up absolutely convinced that my mom had faked her husbands death for tax purposes and i was so mad cuz i had to go to his stupid funeral with his dumb family and i thought we had finally gotten rid of him all for it to be a lie then like half an hour later im like “wait…” I told her about it later and she told me faking his death wouldnt have done much for her tax wise at all
Mine are always like “Oh fuck someone I love has died.” which is pretty scary to wake up to. But my favorite wtf one is that I woke up and I expected to wake up like at 12pm, I’d set an alarm for it etc….
I woke up at 8pm.
My immediate reaction to it being dark outside?
“Oh fuck it’s nuclear winter”
I once dreamed that I was a pirate tying a lot of knots for sail-hoisting purposes. Woke up to find that I’d wrapped our kitten in about three blankets. He wouldn’t sleep within arm’s reach of me for two years after that.
Another time, I was woken up by lightning striking a tree in our yard, and I genuinely thought I was somewhere to do with cannons for about 10 seconds.
And then there was that time I was dreaming about boring house things, walked outside, found a canyon in our yard, woke up, got out of bed, walked downstairs, went outside, saw a flying saucer, woke up, got out of bed, had breakfast, and spent the whole day quietly expecting that I was about to wake up.
Brains are weird and sometimes they forget how to reality.
Oh my god I love this.
My sister once went and woke up or dad to ask for lunch money and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said no and he told she had to get the rubies first and so she left and came back a little while later to ask again and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said yes and he told her okay and that she could take the $10 in his wallet.
I once had a dream that my house (and everything in it) was being claimed by loan sharks because I was so poor/in debt/or something, in my dream. I then woke up panicking/crying and looking around, confused as to why everything was still in my room. It took at least 20 seconds for me to figure out why.
I came out of like 1 second of microsleep with the idea that Plants vs. Zombies had introduced a Charging Mooseflower.
I once woke up, and very deliberately bashed my head into the wall. For some reason I thought that was really important to do.
mine are always like weird random phrases that are just in my head and seem vitally important like one time i woke and thought to myself “a dead man’s mouth must taste like cabbage”
once while in a hotel room i had a nightmare about trying to escape from a nuclear apocalypse. i failed, and got asploded. my mental movie screen went black for a long moment, and then i woke up to see the words SHIT HAPPENS written on the hotel room wall in cheerful birthday cake cursive.
i stared at this for what felt like a good 15 minutes, checking that yes i was definitely awake, my spouse was snoring behind me, i was in the hotel room where i was supposed to be, and yet the words were definitely right there… until suddenly they weren’t, and it was just the shadow of a tree outside.
being wide awake in every way except the shadows are randomly making fun of your cold war PTSD… that was the weirdest goddamn morning.
I have woken up and punched the nearest wall to my bed on several occasions
Another time I woke up and head butted a wall
I woke a friend up for work once and she was just like “so it’s time to make the shields for the invasion?” She didn’t understand why I was laughing for like 3 minutes
I was on holiday in Japan about three months after I finished my masters degree, and woke up at about 4am absolutely convinced I had an assignment due in the morning that I’d not yet started or submitted… to the point that I got out of bed, turned my laptop on and was about to startit. It only then occurred to me, when staring at the backlit screen, that the degree ended months ago, that I was not in my bedroom, and I was in another bloody country trying to relax.
One morning I woke up at 8:45am in a panic, thinking I was late for school. It was when I had literally fallen out of my bed that I realised not only was it Saturday, but I had graduated high school almost four years ago
So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.
And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.
Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.
Me: This isn’t your kiwi?
Roommate: No?
Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.
Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.
Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!
As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.
But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store?
So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.
Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.
There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.
It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it
The voiced interdental fricative - [ð]. It mostly occurs as the voiced counterpart of [θ] in the languages that have it, or as an allophone of /d/, like in Spanish. This is the sound present in English TH like in THat, or THe, or moTHer. In many dialects of English this sound is substituted by [d], [v] or [z], like London English, Philadelphia English, African American Vernacular English, North New Zealand English, Irish English.
